October 31st — Scary

It is near impossible these days to get all my children to look in one direction and be still. LOL This does not mean they are not behaved however, just that I am accepting of the stages they are in the needs they have. With all that trick or treating excitement in them, who can blame them. Well I guess some can. This brings me to one of the scary things in my parenting world. Spanking.

“Spanking does for a child’s development what wife-beating does for a marriage.”

I know it is a tool that a few families I care about use. I hope they forgive me for choosing not to use that same tool. Some people, thankfully no one I know would go about blaming the issues of society on those who do not spank. Not spanking does not mean not correcting behavior though. It is not easy, it takes so much more time, and it makes me as a parent have a lot more control. I want my children to see me upset and see how I deal with calming down and fixing a situation. I don’t want them to see me get upset and then get angry and then physically hurt someone. As a child who got the belt, I can tell you that it didn’t “fix” anything and no matter how often we got spanked, some how my brother still ended up an addict and felon. My parents did the best job they knew how to do, in this case though I wish they had known other things. Thankfully they are great grandparents!

Attachment parenting isn’t bending over backwards for your kids, it is living with them, hand in hand, side by side, respectfully. It doesn’t use fear, though it does use reality. My wise husband often reminds me that the world can be a cold hard place and family and home should be the warm soft place to call into when you need it. We will help them learn to live in the world and help them recover from the cold when it is hard.

If you spank, that is between you and your family. I will nto judge, how could I? It is not my place. However for me, for my family we are certain it is not ok for us. Be the change you want to see in the world, our children are watching.