Generational Parenting: A Journey of Change and Growth
Each generation has opinions on the ones before and after and too often they are negative. Yes, bad things happened but what if we took a wider look at our own family’s generational journey? What if our mothers and their mothers and the ones before that all did their best and if even they failed in some ways…. here you are. What will you pass down? Likely not exactly what you though.
Each Generation’s Perspective
A friend posted about how her great grandmother raised her grandmother and how her grandmother raised her daughter differently and how her daughter raised her daughter differently. I saw this in my family too.
Evolving Parenting Styles
It’s interesting to observe how parenting styles and approaches can change from one generation to the next. Families often adapt and evolve over time, influenced by shifts in societal norms, cultural changes, and individual experiences. Each generation may draw from their own upbringing to make adjustments or choices in how they raise their children.
This phenomenon can reflect the resilience and adaptability of families as they navigate different circumstances and contexts. It’s also a reminder that every generation has unique challenges and opportunities to consider when it comes to parenting.
A Glimpse into Your Family’s Journey
Looking at the women before me, my mothers mother died when she was young and so Mom was raised by her oldest brother and his wife. My mother left when I was little and started another family while trying to still be a Mom to us. I have been raising my family to be attached to one another and was determined to not leave them. (Please note, leaving is sometimes the best choice, I just dreamed of a different path. I am sure my mother didn’t expect to leave when she had us.) I badly wanted a large family that would stay close and supportive. I dreamed then and still do of living in a multiple generational household.
I think part of my family dreams also come from my paternal grandmother who could only have one child but wanted more. She raised me rather traditionally to dream of finding a good husband (Like my pepe she would say, and funny enough I did!) and a house and raising lots of children. She had wanted to have girls too. Goodness did I have girls. I have brought 6 girls and 1 boy into this world. She so very loved them. I am glad she got to see me living out the dream she had for me.
Navigating Different Paths
My oldest daughter tells me I was overly protective. I suppose in some ways that is true and something terrible still happened. (Yes, I believe in apologizing to our children and I am sorry for all the over protective moments I had.) My oldest daughter is now a mother and I am so proud of myself for not telling her how to parent but being here when she asks for advice. She is intentionally raising her child to be brave by not hovering. Here is an example: My dear sweet perfect grandbaby, a toddler was standing on my kitchen table and nearly gave me a heart attack but my oldest calmly told me she was fine and that she is more likely to fall if I over react with fear while trying to get across the room to help her down. Daughter moved calmly to her and asked her to get down and moved the chair a bit to let her try herself. Yup, I nearly fainted thinking of grandbaby falling. She didn’t. While my oldest daughter is raising her child a bit differently, I can also see she is taking some of the best elements of how we raised her and using those in her own ways. I am so proud of so many of the ways she is mothering. She did what I couldn’t, she is nursing past a year old and now into the second year. (Did she get this from crunchy parenting normalizing breastfeeding?) And so it goes. Each with love trying to do a little better and different than our mothers before us.
Embracing the Positive
Talking to other mothers I noticed a similarity, the mothers going one way and their daughters going another. It’s heartwarming to see how family dynamics can evolve positively over time, fostering a sense of love, understanding, and trust among generations.
The Shared Journey
Parenting is a continual learning process, and it’s important to recognize the strengths and wisdom that each generation brings to the table. Your family’s journey reflects the capacity for growth, resilience, and love within families as they navigate the complexities of life.
Do you know your families generational journey?
