Day 6 – Girls and Cars

Todays photo is inspired by my little storm baby. She is smart and funny and shy. She also loves cars. Watching her play with a pink container with little cars all organized in them I thought back to a comment I read on facebook today.

The comment was about an activist, it wasn’t positive and spoke more about the person making the comment than about the activist he was insulting. At the end of the rant, he said that the male activist should cut his long hair as he looks like an ugly girl. When called out on his attack, the person who made the comment tried to make it a joke and said he had cut his own pony tail because he looked like a girl, as if this made his comment any better some how.

I was thinking about the lines we draw between men and women, lines that are not logical and have nothing to do with how we where born. What about being born says we should like pink or blue? Long hair or short? Dresses or Boxers? We have these odd traditions that we follow without thinking much about them and then we some how judge others by them for no logical reason.

My sons nails are red today, he is 7 years old. I have no idea when he did this but I am not shocked and I didn’t mention to him that I noticed. He likes to paint them, and he sometimes puts dresses on. This doesn’t mean he is not a boy. It doesn’t make a statement about his sexuality and I don’t care to think about what that might be, that is his business and not mine. He is 7, his life isn’t about anything sexual, it is about things he think look nice and video games, and playing with friends.  People judge him though, sometimes other kids comment on his long hair and sometimes they pick on him, and sometimes their parents tell him to get his hair cut. I think it says a lot about them and their kids that they feel the need to judge and pick on others over such things. He felt badly enough once to want it cut and so we did take him to get it cut. Since then though, he talks about his hair and how he likes it, and how he just doesn’t want to cut it. I am glad he is confident now to just tell people he likes it and will cut it when he wants to, someday. I hope he keeps standing up for himself and knows he can question tradition or social norms.

So my daughters play with cars… my 13 year old hates dresses and the color pink. My son likes nail polish and dressing up and all things that sparkle. This doesn’t make them anything but the wonderful people they are. It doesn’t make me a bad mother. Thankfully I am confident and smart enough to know this. There are many choices as parents we question, these things are not them, not for me at least.