Today was day 1 of his second round of Chemo. It is certainly hard on his body, he feel asleep on his lunch tray with my mom during treatment. I can picture them snoring together. It is hard on the heart that I am not there right now. We planned to be there but we have a small cold going around the house and we can’t risk bringing it to Dad. The smallest cold could be the end of him. So we wait, we recover and we plan to go in a few weeks. Sadly the military needs husband for something important next week so wait a bit longer. Soon though I can hug my Dad. Soon right before my eyes will be the truth of this, that he is dying. I see photos thanks to my step sister. He is losing so much weight so fast. Bless him, I think since the news of this cancer that he has folded in on himself. He hurts so so much. Even when he is not hurting he is tired. He is home now, all the times he can be and I worry for him. I think if I was facing my end I would be out in the world living it up but I don’t think he can even if he wanted to. Maybe it is depression? Maybe it is worry that he will need every last penny for treatment.
Society isn’t kind to those who get cancer. We think there is support out there, that one can get social security and government insurance but apparently it isn’t that easy, it could take years. My Dad doesn’t have years. We should learn in a few weeks if the Chemo is helping at all.
I simply don’t know enough about pancreatic cancer or cancer at all. I don’t know how to help and it chokes me up and sends me into tears at the oddest of times. The sorrow comes in waves when I least expect it. I can only imagine how hard this is on him and Mom. If you know of what I can do to help, please share your ideas. Please.
I will never forget my Fathers love of the ocean, fishing, and boating. He would make sure we got out to the ocean every summer for swimming and fun. A few years we had a boat and would go fishing and swimming. He would teach us how to drive and about laws on the ocean and safety. I loved learning about it all. My Dad knows so much about so many things and he learned it all in the days before the internet. I have a deep respect and love for him. I treasure the memories of all our ocean days. There is no sleep as wonderful as sleep on a moving boat after a long day swimming and fishing in the sun. What I would give to know my Dad would have time to pass on what he knows to my own children. It is all just so heart breaking and overwhelming. I can’t make this better for him.
Thinking of u kimmy… so sorry this is all happening. If there was a way for me to make it better I would. Love you
It is just so unimaginable. No one saw this coming….
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your dad right now. My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and I too felt so very helpless throughout the whole thing. I think the most important thing is for you to keep expressing all the love and respect you have for him, like you’ve done in this post. No one ever says, “I said ‘I love you’ too many times.”
I am so sorry about your dad. Pancreatic cancer sounds so painful – my cousin had it too. Wishing you all better days.
Losing a parent can be one of the hardest things to get through. My only advice (after losing my Mom when she was just 59) is to make the most of the time you have, remember all the good times, show your love every chance you get. Sharing your feelings in this post is just one small token of the love you have for your Dad. 🙂
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending lots of good thoughts to you and your dad.
I am so sorry that your dad is sick and you can’t be with him. That must make it so much harder for both of you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Praying for him and you!
Reading the title of this post brought me to tears. My grandmother just completed her first round of chemo for pancreatic cancer and we won’t know if it’s working until she finishes at least four rounds. Either way, it is terminal and the treatment is only to slow it down. We’ll maybe get a year even with treatment and up to 6 months without. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this too and send prayers.
Erlene I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. It is devastating and so sad that the only hope in this is the chemo giving us just a little more time. I never knew anything about this cancer before this happened. My heart breaks for my Dad, for our whole family, for you and your Grandmother and all those suffering because of this.