I am the girl who dyed her hair wild colors as soon as she could do it herself. I am the girl who has tattoos all over and started when I was 18 with them despite my Mothers protests. I am the “cool” mom.
I am however also a crunchy mom into crunchy parenting, and so here is my crunchy parenting advice for you. Let them make new traditions too!
I was a goth girl, so is it any wonder why my oldest daughter is my safety child? She never wants a tattoo, ever. Most mothers would love this news. I am a bit shocked by it.
She also is going to break the family female tradition on my mother’s side of getting ones ears pierced at age 13.
The story goes a bit like this. My mother had begged and begged to get her ears pierced as a girl and her mother told her not until she was 13 years old. She did not like this response but one doesn’t argue with ones mother about such things if one is wise. So she waited. When she got home from school to her shock, her mother and sister sat her down in a chair and pierced her ears themselves. Job done. Or so I remember her telling me.
I too did not want to wait till my 13th birthday and goodness knows my Step mother almost gave in a few times and let me get my ears pierced sooner but my father stepped in and explained how important letting my mother take me to get it done when I turned 13 was. I grumbled but again, who was I to argue?
When I was 13 my mother took me to a shop to get it done with ear guns. Short and sweet and just painful enough to remember. No infection and cute little earrings to go with them. My mother got me little diamond studs too. Thus started my years of losing jewelry to everyone aggravation. I still lose jewelry honestly! My poor husband though is very understanding, or at least he fakes it well.
My little sister who is 10 years younger than I am got hers done at 13 too.
Now my oldest daughter is turning 13 and honestly I would let her pierce whatever she wanted to know that she is 13 and of course that means she has no intention of ever piercing anything! She is my safety child. She says she does not understand the point of pain for vanity. Really? This is what happens when Goth Moms grow up…. they are cursed with reasonable and intelligent daughters I tell you!
So this family tradition will be broken. I did however get her an ear cuff that she even sleeps with.
She wants more of them! She has style all her own.
Do you have a family tradition like this? Are you a “cool” mommy with a more intelligent child too?
My parents were the super strict kind, the kind who talked so often about their hatred of tattoos that it seemed almost inevitable that all three of the kids they raised went and got inked as soon as they could. That my hair has been black, blonde, shaved, pink and currently very red. That one brother grew dreads and the other pierced his nipple. So it seems logical that the three of us will end up with kids like this daughter if yours, disinterested in all the stuff we thought was so cool!
Although I feel somewhat sad for you due to the break in tradition, I also think that it’s worth celebrating. You’ve created a child – a female – who is not easily swayed by society’s norms. Kudos to you and your husband for raising a daughter that dares to be different!
You made me laugh. “I was a goth girl.” Back in my day, I was a “new waver” or “punk.” I too had to wait until I was 13 to get my ears pierced. I broke that tradition as well and let my first daughter get her ears pierced when she was 5. I was being a little sneaky. She had this horrible habit of biting her nails. I told her if she went a whole month without biting her nails I would let her get her ears pierced. She did it! Woo hoo! I also let my 16 year old put a temporary purple streak in her hair this summer. However, there will be no piercings in other places or tattoos. This is the one place where I agree with my traditional upbringing. To each his own, though. 🙂 Glad to have you on the Passionate Parents tribe. Have a super day!