Children are often very outspoken with regards to what they want to do and equally what they don’t want to do. This can be a very positive thing but it can also make choosing an activity for the weekend rather tricky at times.
Some parents advocate an attitude of telling their children what is going to happen, what they children are going to do and expect the children to be happy and go along with it.
In my experience this rarely works for two reasons:
1) It disengages the child from the decision making process.
2) If a child really does not want to do something, they are unlikely to change their mind simply because they are told to do so.
My eight year old had one burning desire this summer, and that was to watch the latest Monsters Inc movie Monsters University.
It so happened that my one burning desire was to go to the Saatchi Gallery to view the Paper Exhibition. The prospect of doing so with a grumpy eight year old did not appeal so we made an agreement together. We went to the Saatchi Gallery in the morning, grabbed some burgers for lunch (organic vegetarian burgers, of course) and then, providing he had been well behaved, went to view the film at a Cinema in London.
The city has no end of cinemas but I planned on taking him to the large Cineworld in Chelsea.
We made the agreement and I expected him to tolerate being dragged around the museum, anticipating watching the Monster film – but to my amazement he was enjoying the exhibition just as much as I was! He was focussed and receptive to everything around him and I found his interest was further fuelling mine.
Discussing things with your child, even from a very early age, helps nurture in them a sense of responsibility, negotiation and decision making. It is perfectly acceptable to bargain with your child. If you want to visit a museum in the morning, you can make an agreement with your child that you can both do something they would like to do in the afternoon if they behave.
The chances are that they will not only behave themselves because they are looking forward to the afternoon, but will be more receptive to the museum and actually enjoy it.
We both really enjoyed the exhibition and had a wonderful time and I have to admit that I also enjoyed the film a lot more than I expected to. A little mutual bargaining can go a long way, it would seem!
