Will my children grow up to think the world owes them because I taught them to share? 

The Rebuttal

I read a rather interesting opinion piece that is making it’s way around facebook and Mommy groups. The title is catching and I thought it would be filled with some great information, maybe a bit of expert sociology, statistics, or something solid to back up why one wouldn’t teach their son share. Instead it is an opinion piece, that’s it, and not one I can really connect with. You can read “Why I Don’t Make My Son Share” here. So here is my own opinion on it!

It seems like many places there is a sharing policy in a co-op school that the mother (Very Bloggy Beth) had not thought much about before. The rule is that kids must share when they are done. It doesn’t much sound like sharing though. If the child on the swing needs to go potty then the swing is even saved for them till they get back. Only when they are fully satisfied and done with something does anyone get to use it. So who ever gets if first gets it…. sorry Timmy, you have a disability that makes is so you can’t run, too bad you will never get that swing! Who needs to think about others?

She jumps into talking about how a small child brought a car out to a public park where another child wanted to play with it too. I have seen this happen sometimes and while I would not be ok with my children arguing with another child over that other child’s toy we make it clear to our children if they take toys to the park, they need to be willing to share that toy, else leave it home. Why? Because we are social animals, curious by nature, and the park is a social setting. If you want to play with something alone, do it at home! Maybe it is because I was taught to never take something outside growing up to play with friends if you couldn’t share or didn’t have enough to share (think Popsicle!) Old time morals maybe? Are they truly dying out?

The second situation though is where I think true colors come out. The Mom takes her child to a public play group event and he gets in a red car he loves. Another child wants to play with it, going over to it with his Mum a few times to gently ask for a turn. The boy in the car ignores them, and it seems his mother does too. He drove it the whole hour and half without sharing. Why didn’t his mother help teach him to share? Because other kids need to be taught to deal with disappointment she says! (because the world will not teach them this enough we need to make sure we and our children teach them too?)

She thinks that we need to teach our children diligence, patience, and hard work to get what they want and I can not disagree with her but I do disagree with her methods and how she thinks we as a society should go about teaching it. How again did her son earn that red car he did not ever share with diligence, patience, and hard work? It seems to me he simply got it first and to heck with anyone else. That I think it what is being taught and I find it very sad. 

The Mom goes on to blame societal issues on those who expect things, like expecting a raise simply because one shows up and is dependable. How dare they! I think though she is missing our gross economic divide caused by those who think they have earned the “red car” simply by getting there first. Lets face it, many of the 1% are there not because of diligence, patience, and hard work. They are there on the backs of the hard working. Your free to not agree of course. 

Possible Impact of Sharing or Not in Society

For me I will teach my children to share what they have because we are social animals and in this together. I think we need less children being raised thinking only about “me me me” and more about US. I think we need more people who will sacrifice a little for the betterment of everyone. Sharing a toy is not asking too much.

These days many people will not even go to a neighbors house to ask for a cup of sugar, or to borrow a mower, or the like. I know because I have moved so often being a military wife. Things have changed. People don’t want to share so they don’t expect others to either. It doesn’t make us better as people. I think it makes us worse as a society.

Rather than teaching our children that others asking us to share is some kind of lacking on the other persons part, how dare they! I think we need to teach our children about what is instead in their control. They can share, and in return chances are they will be shared with as well. We don’t have to keep pushing for this cold hard selfish society that blames the working poor for all our problems because some think that they don’t have diligence, patience, or hard work. Do the research, that just isn’t the case! 

 We need to do better I think. What do you think? 

In the end though, I could always be wrong!

edited to add a link to a rebuttal better then mine! 🙂 on www.askyourdadblog.com