Guest Post

From packing endless boxes and negotiating with the moving company to securing extra insurance, moving across the state or country is an exhausting and frustrating experience. As a parent, you’re feeling the strain of relocating your kids and their belongings. Your teenagers are feeling an entirely different form of move-related stress, and it can often be even more profound and devastating. If your teenager is struggling with leaving behind her school, friends and maybe even a first love, there are many ways to help her survive and maybe even enjoy the experience.

Spend Time Together as a Family

Now more than ever, it’s critical to rally around your teenagers and spend as much time as possible together as a family. It’s overwhelming and time-consuming to move, but don’t let this stop you from setting aside several hours each week to concentrate on your teenager. If necessary, postpone the move or stretch it out for several weeks. Whatever it takes, remember your top priority isn’t making sure your grandmother’s antique gravy bowl makes it to the new house in one piece. You must place making the transition as smooth as possible for your teenager at the top of your moving “must-do” list, or suffer the consequences of a frustrated, angry and disappointed child.

Focus on the Positive

Take a step away from the chaos of moving and ask your teenager how she feels about the transition. Chances are she’ll bring up a variety of topics, from missing out on the senior prom to leaving her debate team right before the state championship. Instead of allowing your teenager to dwell on the negative, help her see the positive aspects of moving to a new town and high school. For instance, is there an award-winning choir at her new school? Does her new high school feature an amazing football or drama program? Don’t hesitate to pull out the new high school’s extra-curricular activity list and point out all the amazing opportunities available. If your teen is apprehensive or nervous, help her practice for cheerleading try-outs or prepare a monologue for the drama club.

Throw a Goodbye Party

Help your teenager feel a sense of closure by throwing a massive final blow-out at your old house. Invite all your teenager’s friends, classmates and teachers. Take this opportunity to say goodbye to the home and your neighborhood, as well. Reminisce about past birthday parties, Christmas dinners and all the other amazing times you shared in the home. Before the party ends, take a final picture of your child and her friends. Hang the picture in the new home and remind your teenager that even though that amazing experience has ended, there are several more memories waiting to be made in the new house.

Expect a Fight

It’s important to help your teenager recognize the positive aspects of moving to a new home and city. However, you must allow her to whine, cry, carry on and release every other negative emotion. There’s a good chance your child will bargain, beg and plead for you not to move. Fights will occur, doors will be slammed and there will be plenty of tears shed. It’s important to recognize that much of the sadness is caused by fear of the unknown. Once your teen has worked through the emotions, let her know you’re there to help her conquer any fears she has about attending a new school.

The First Few Tumultuous Days

If your teenager is struggling with being labeled the “new kid”, help her through those first few stressful days at school. If necessary, take a week off of work and devote that time to your teenager. Drop her off and pick her up from school every day. Be there to address and work through all her fears and anxieties. Eventually, your teenager will meet friends and start adjusting to her new school, life and home.

If your teenager is having trouble adjusting to the new town and school, and cannot seem to find her niche, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. If you’re not sure where to find a psychiatrist or counselor in the area, ask for a referral or recommendation from the high school’s psychologist or guidance counselor.

Image from Flickr’s Creative Commons

About the Author: Carla Meyers is a guest blogger, wife and mother. Carla recently relocated and recommends the New City moving company.