I saw a women today lost in her life and it tickled the fears I have deep down, that I think many women have. What will I do when my children are grown up? What will I do with this empty next?
Her words:
Who am I?
Kids are grown, siblings are self-sufficient…
Friends have their own families and priorities, the “new order”is taking over at work…
Do I have anything to offer?
Days are dark.
Feelings of worthlessness plague my thoughts and even invade my dreams.
Is this all there is?
I thought about her words deeply. I could feel them, and they stung with a sorrow, a loss. My heart was heavy. I pictured a chapter ending and when I would do if this was a novel I was writing, what next?
NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow, a dear friend Michelle and I had been talking about ways to get through writing a novel in a month and the benefits of just having characters and seeing where they take up rather than having a plot and an outline to write with.
If this new crone with the empty nest was my character, what would I tell her? Here are my words, words I am placing here to hopefully, someday, remember.
Words I hope to remember when I am a crone:
To be a crone is to embrace your power in your own right. Your value does not come from those who depend on you, want you for your body, want you for your ability to reproduce and nurture. Now you are your own. That is enough. Now you dance to your own song, not tied to any one elses needs but your hearts. Long have you been commanded by the beating of others drums, but that time is past. The path forward might be scary and new, but you are being reborn in the darkness and that is magical. There is a beauty that only crones can have, a confidence that says under the moon and sun you command yourself and need no ones approval. This isn’t just a new chapter in your life, it is a whole new book and you are the author. So figure out what you want. Do you want to be a swamp beast? Totally valid. How about a garden or kitchen witch? Your time is now your own and the universe is waiting to see what you do with it. You are worthy, you have given so much of yourself for so long. You are reborn, learning to walk, learning to dance…. you will find the steps and create the music. It can be beautiful.
