While the Mommy wars are not pretty I have to wonder, is it possible to share your views on parenting without some how insulting others?
There is a viral post I happen to like about how time is fleeting and how our children need our attention. It is sweet and I think a needed reminder for parents in a modern world who are addicted to screens. Myself included! It is not just our children wanting us to put the phones away and watch them twirl and spin and swing as high as anyone ever has. It is our friends when we are out for coffee, the other drivers on the roads, others in the theaters. Screens are taking up our time and attention in ways that have never been experienced before.
This reminder though was not taken kindly by some. I would not even have seen it had I not read this blog attacking the post. The blogger it seems felt guilt after reading it and thought to compare a mother on her cell phone with her own working mother. Who actually does sound wonderful. The post though makes it seem like parents shouldn’t care if they are not paying attention to their kids, they can’t win anyway. I don’t think that is the case at all. While parenting guilt seems unavoidable, no one can MAKE us feel anything. If we are feeling guilt after reading that post, maybe we should search ourselves as ask why rather than blame the one sharing the reminder. That’s my opinion anyway.
I am thankful for the reminder to put the cell phone away, close the laptop, and give my children the attention they need. I don’t for a second think that it is ok to not pay attention to ones children. I am not going to tell you that if you ignore them that it will be ok, that they will grow up and love you anyway. They might. However you will know, they will know, that you spent more time on the phone than with them. If your ok with that, fine. If your not, lets try to do better. What is wrong with trying to do better?
I put it this way. People see our LO (2) and how she acts. People ask how we get her to be so well mannered and independent at the same time. I tell them we attachment parent, co-sleep, and let her make her own decisions. They walk away then.
People see attachment parenting as “work” and I think your just not giving them the answer they want to hear!
A lot of the time, it simply comes down to remembering that there is no One True Way of Parenting. While AP works well for a parent commenting up there, it doesn’t work for us. Parenting is work, regardless of the method. After all, it’s a verb.
I can’t believe someone would attack this – if it makes us feel a wee bit guilty and that prompts us into spending more time with our little ones then that’s great! I am definitely guilty of looking at my phone more often than I need, and what can be better than putting it away and spending some time just playing with our children!