Some might think that the above happy baby must be an easy baby, and really compared to my other children I sometimes think so myself. But that happy baby was up till 2am last night. Does this sound easy to you? Just because I don’t swear about the hard parts of parenting, just because I don’t spank them, does not mean I have easy children. All children are different and they can be different at different ages, in different situations and at different times of day. I could say your child is easy because they potty learned sooner than my still not interested 3.5 year old but I am betting there are hard parts in your parenting life, and maybe potty learning was not smooth though at least it is done for you! (lets hope!)
I have heard over the years that I must have easy children. It feels like an insult. Not only to me but to those saying it and judging so harshly their own parenting and children.
I take issue with the idea in our society that parenting is a burden. It can cause parents to be bitter in the middle of the night when baby is awake. It adds to the insanity that are judgments like babies should be sleeping through the night or your a bad parent or that they should be potty trained by a certain age or your a bad parent… it adds to the negative self talk. It is not helpful. Language is powerful and we have to take care with how we use it.
We know that user experience is powerful, it is the sum of all we know and feel about a certain thing. I think the negativity around parenting can cause moments in parenting to be harder than they need to be. There are saying such as “We are what we think” and “thinking is being” and I do believe that what we think about something shapes our experiences.
I choose to not think of parenting as a burden so maybe I don’t experience them and express them in that way. It does not mean it is easy! It does not mean I don’t work hard at parenting. It means that rather than swearing at 2am about a baby not sleeping, I play with her, make her happy, and take photos so that in 20 years I can look back and maybe remember a little bit of this time I am blessed with.
Be kind to yourself Mama, and choose wisely the words you use and think about when it comes to your children.
