Dear Blog,
This post is a very personal one.
My Dear Husband and I have been married for 20 years now. It is not a shock that he knows me so well. This year though for Christmas I found myself taken back by just how well he knows me. His gifts this year all seemed to be centered on self care. A stack of fantastic books, bath items, comfy socks, a new comfy dress, chocolate, a new Echo so I can have LOUD sound in my office as it turns out that helps me write when I have writers block. Music also of course helps people to change their mood. A candle, some things for my beloved house plants. (Some of them are stubborn these days!) A silk pillow case to maybe help me sleep better even. I know I am forgotten things! This isn’t to say he doesn’t normally gift well, he does, but this year, the combination of it them all…. oh my heart, he gets me.
He even made sure to get things perfect in our living room with a fire and quiet so I could read peacefully. It is always magical. Wish so many kids, it is also a rare thing!
Of course while all these gifts are lovely and I think perfect, they are not in and of themselves, self-care. Self-care isn’t “stuff” but things can help, and can help be tools and reminders and make it easier to focus on selfcare.
Dear sweet husband remembers when I forget that I feel better after I have had some quality time with a book. Or sometimes adventure time on a drive in direction we haven’t gone, or one of our nature spots. Sometimes I need a bubble bath with an audio book playing because time to think isn’t helpful that day. I am really lucky to have someone who reminds me how to center myself again.
For him I know sometimes he just needs to get his to-do list done to center. Sometimes though he needs quality time with a zombie game. LOL Music helps him, as do drives too. Chocolate doesn’t seem to have the same magical pull for him that it does me. Outback though is something he never turns down!
While some things didn’t go as planned this holiday, one thing I am sure, I am lucky. I am lucky to get to love someone so amazing and who knows me so well. I am lucky to have amazing kids, family, and friends. I am lucky to have loved ones far away to miss, and ones I will never be able to hug again that I get to carry with me in my heart.
So I will remind myself to be ok with the fact that some of us are sick, that my health is a bit scary, and that I would give anything to make loved ones health better. I will do what I can to help us all thrive as best we can. I will try to breath through what things I can’t change.
I am tucking this away on the blog because someday I want to look back and remember this special time. I want to remember that before some hard news today things where near as perfectly imperfect and wonderful as I can remember. I think I lose my grasp on times like this, times when things are simply so pure and good. Then something like today happens….. a loved one with some scary things going on. It shakes me. I need the selfcare so much. I am just so thankful for so many things. Hopefully I will find my calm again soon.
