We learn when we are little that lying is bad and can hurt people and yet certain lies are cultural an we look at them as innocent. They don’t always turn out that way though. In my 15 years of parenting I have come across accounts of children feeling very betrayed over the Santa myth and some of the others many of us treasure. My own Hope-Pixie felt betrayed at first and found it difficult to deal with until we brought her into the Santa game, and made her a helper for keeping the magic alive for younger kids. Only when she was a part of the secret did she come around to find the joy of it all again.
So as my 9 year old son is opening his eyes to reality and starting to doubt I remind him about the fun of pretend play and how important play is in all our lives. He isn’t out right telling me yet he doesn’t believe, but I see it. While Mr. Handsome is his nick name here on the blog, he is also Mr. Observant. He is a literal child and points out often what isn’t probably real or true. He cares deeply about things and reports everything making many connections beyond his years. I truly hope that he can handle the truth, that Santa is not real, in the sense most kids think he is, with understanding and still keep the joy of the game in his heart. We will go over the history of Santa, and the old pagan traditions behind Christmas as well, and they “why” behind them. We will go over the Yule beliefs too as I think they will help him understand how important this time of year was and how important HOPE is for the human condition. The longest night and greeting the day as it starts the path to longer days and the growing season I think will help him understand more deeply just why we feel the need for these winter holidays and traditions.
You know your child best, and I can’t tell you just how to handle it. I do not think there is a magical way to explain the mythology and game we play over the holidays.
When my teenage niece posted this to her facebook wall I just had to comment asking if her lies ever brought sweet treats to her family! She thankfully didn’t take it personally and saw my point. Some lies are hurtful, others though are less lies and more surprises!
If I had to give anyone one piece of advice about all this though it would be to wrap your child in the tradition when they learn the truth and turn them into little Santas, let them bring that joy to others!
