I sadly feel like I know a few people who keep me in their lives to talk at me and not with me. I find it hard when they say things as if they are facts without anything to back those facts up and when I take the time, do the research and have an opinion that is different than theirs that they dismiss me offhandedly. It is hurtful and I just don’t understand why they bring those topics up that they know I do not agree with them on just to argue or remind me what they believe offering no real facts beyond opinions and sadly most of the opinions are myths or stereo types. They have their minds made up, why bother talking about those things even. Why bother talking to me about them? I finally had enough, my heart hurting I posted this to my personal facebook page:
Kimberly – I have come to the understanding that no matter what I do, to some people I will always have the wrong opinion. Unless I get a Ph.D on a topic I want to have an opinion about they will never even consider my opinion valid, of course then if I have an opinion outside that field that will not count either. I don’t know why they even bother talking to me if they can’t consider anything I even say. For this reason I am done talking about certain things with certain people. Others closed minds are resulting in a cold heart. If you don’t care what I think, don’t talk to me about it. Life is short and if you just want to hear your own thoughts repeated back to you, get a parrot.
I remind myself that being right is not more important than relationships. I am annoyed with myself, I am finding it hard to be both honest and kind at the same time because sometimes things just seem so…. stupid. At this point I feel like I have to beg, please don’t call me if your not going to listen to anything I have to say. I have to remind myself that sometimes people just need to heard, and I try to provide that but what about me? Don’t I deserve to be heard too? And why oh why can some people never be wrong? I can be wrong! It isn’t that painful to admit and yet some people never will.
Life is just so big and beautiful and amazing to think we have all the answers already. Like is also too short to spend arguing to talking to those who don’t seem to care what you have to say.
So now I have to figure out a way to not take the bait, not engage in those arguments. Now I have to find a way to not let it eat at me knowing how those people treat me while trying to find some kind of real relationship with them. I think maybe I am too hurt to think clearly on this though.
Do you talk about a lot of hot topics? How do you deal with those with closed minds?
Friends and I do talk about hot topics. With respect and as open a mind as possible. That being said, certain issues we ALL are very clear about our positions and are unlikely to shift. at a certain point you can only feel your way – if someone’s mind is completely closed to a different opinion or view on certain subjects it’s best for the friendship to let it go. Certain friends I can talk about anything, others I skirt certain issues (say politics, religion, the affordable health care act, immigration, or gun control). On Facebook we all tacitly ignore posts we don’t agree with and are unwilling to discuss with respect to each other. For example – one friend posts a lot about Obama that is extremely negative AND wildly untrue. I just delete those posts as there is no reasoning with her on that subject. Another friend and I disagree on gun control, but we do discuss it and both of us have made tiny shifts in our views due to this discourse.
I wish I had your restraint! I saw a wildly untrue post today, also about Obama from a fellow blogger and I had to comment on it.
I feel you… well to a degree… I am one of the people you either love or hate because I am brutally honest. If you come at me spewing crap and have no idea what your talking to I’ll set you straight in about 2 seconds. I have no sensor either, and if you think you can ignore me and blindly spew horse crap I’ll make you look and feel a fool. I have no tolerance for ignorance.