Many years ago I was lucky enough to meet a couple so kind and so in love and so wanting a family that I felt blessed to be able to be their surrogate. I helped them to have two beautiful and healthy daughters. Over the years though the military has moved us far we have managed to keep in touch and the girls even call me Mommy. I have come to see that both fathers are in fact the best fathers anyone could ask for and they have raised such wonderful girls. My surrogate family is as close to family as one could ask for.
Sadly the worst has befallen them, one of the Daddies had complications in a surgery and has suffered many more surgeries since to try and fix things, nothing worked though and he died.
My youngest surrogate daughter texted me shortly after she found out. She is 10 and she doesn’t understand how this could happen and I admitted to her that I don’t either. She said she will never be the same, and I couldn’t help but say that she is right, she won’t be. My heart breaks for her and her sister and their Dad.
I don’t know how to make this better for them, logically I know I can’t but what I would give if I could.
I often say I am the mother of 4 children but in truth it is 6. I say 4 because I parent 4. My surro babies have two parents and I never thought they needed any more than that. I tried to keep my distance and respect space but truth be told no one seemed to put the space there but me. Maybe it was to protect my heart as best I could, I am not sure. I love them all deeply, the whole family. Both fathers are like big brothers to me and have given me some of the best advice, support, inspiration a girl could ever ask for. I know them to both be amazing parents, parents I knew they would be. I never ever thought though this would happen. I just don’t know how to help.
It is with a heavy heart that we wait for the military to tell us today where we are moving in a few months, it could be closer to our surrogate family, it could be to the other side of the planet. We just don’t know. We are also going to be trying to ask the military for leave to attend the services for our loved one but as he is not technically what they think of as family I am not sure how that will go.
Remember to take care of your loved ones. I keep thinking there is more time and again I find I was wrong, there wasn’t more time. Don’t make the same mistakes and don’t make space to protect your heart, it doesn’t work.
Awww, how sad. My prayers go out to the family especially the 10 year old who can’t understand what is going on.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I’m hoping the best for you all as your figure out your roles as life goes on. (((HUGS)))
I hope the military understands the unique situation you guys are in and grants you guys leave. Even if you can’t be there in person, I know you will be in their hearts – you guys have a special bond, and you always will.