We all hear the stories about teens who are out of control with cell phones and social networks and we wonder where their parents are and why no one seems to be guiding them through obstacles. I saw teen girls we are related to posting photos of themselves no where near appropriate and talking to their parents about the issue just seemed to cause drama. Often girls posting such photos we noticed are the ones who are also doing things like trying to get pregnant at 15, stealing, and doing drugs. It is a red flag I swore to be on the look out for with my own children. Being homeschoolers I know doesn’t protect our children from such things, specially with relatives setting such poor examples.
Our 14 year old has had a cell phone for years now. We check the messages, monitor the calls, and over all it has never been an issue. Till now.
While checking her phone I noticed messages from a boy we don’t know. It turns out he is a friend of an online cyber class room friend of our daughter. The class room friend was allowed to have her number, him giving it to one of his neighbors though was not ok. Our daughter was talking to him like normal. Things went south though fast as the boy started asking for photos, then demanding them. She caved and sent a photo of her in her PJ top. Nothing skimpy but not something one wears out of the house. It is like a tank top. The boy then took to threatening our daughter saying if she didn’t send more photos he would ruin her by posting the PJ photo. He tried to trick her into sending her any photo at all, even asking for photos of her feet, anything to keep her talking to him and the change to get more photos. She refused over and over and even at times got mean in telling him to screw off. She had gotten herself into trouble and she knew it. This went on for over a week. Normally I check her cell phone more often but things had gotten busy over the holiday season. I feel badly that she didn’t come to me right away. I feel badly that she sent a photo at all without checking first to see if it was appropriate. She knows she has to check for facebook photos but some how thought cell photos where different. This and much more has been made clear. This boy sent over 20 messages a day, threatening, begging, and promising her the world for photos. He had gotten one, she never sent another. Hundreds of texts back and forth and I wonder, why didn’t she ignore him? Maybe it is like my parents who think they must answer the phone when ever someone calls even if they are eating dinner or busy. Maybe she thought she has to respond. I hope we can help her with this! No one has a right to her time like that, specially not a creepy stranger.
Her father and I contacted the boy, made it clear that if he contacts her again we will bring charges against him for trying to solicit a minor, harassment, and stalking. The boy tried telling us this was a lesson to our daughter, that more guys will try to do this to her. We made it clear it was to be a lesson to him as well. He then tried to ask us if we are sure be broke laws in the state he is in. I have to say, it was all I could do to not cuss him out myself, oh the fury.
This all could have been worse and it nearly was. Our daughter learned a lot and we did as well. I will be checking phone messages a lot more often for one. For another, she is getting a new phone number and new rules about who she can give it to! Parenting a teenager is terrifying sometimes. You love them so very dearly and yet they are out there free to make all kinds of mistakes that could put them in real harm. There is a balance to it all and I am still trying to find it just as much as our teenager is.
Stay on top of your kids cell phones and social media, they could do real damage. If your child is talking to a sleaze ball in Michigan named David please give him our best…. and a call to the police if he pulls this again!
