Rory was born at 35 weeks and 1 Day. She was a wonderful 7lbs and 15oz, 20 inches long. This is large for the gestational age but the dates are correct and her weight it the result of my diabetes even though it was well controlled for 90% of the pregnancy. This was the start of our breastfeeding struggles.
Birth – Day 3 Because of the diabetes Rory had to fight to keep her own blood sugar up. She couldn’t seem to latch and nurse at all. Doctors and Nurses and a Lactation Consultant all confirmed that this was because of being near-term and that it could take a lot longer for her to learn to breastfeed. As low blood sugars can be very dangerous to her we choose to formula supplement till I could pump enough to feed her while she learns to latch and suckle.
To avoid future nipple confusion we choose to supplement with a syringe. Once we are past a day and a half of battling low blood sugar the next issue comes up. Her Bili level is too high. Again we are told to keep up with formula feeding along with pumping and trying to help her nurse in order to help her infant jaundice come down. The worry again is due to her being near term. Near-Term babies spike in Bili numbers at 4-5 days so them going up so soon was a warning sign. We were sent over to the children’s hospital for another day and night under Bili lights. At this point she is still not suckling though she loves to have a nipple in her mouth while sleeping, just no sucking reflex. Pumping was finally starting to bring in enough to add to being syringe fed as well.
Her 4th night earth side and we finally got to come home. To everyone’s joy she sucked for almost a whole minute. This is no small thing. It is a start. We always offer her a breast first and do all we can to encourage her to nurse. Then we syringe feed, and I pump and we give her what I get. The doctors want her getting an oz of breast/formula every 2 hours.
Day 5, we are using a small hand pump and I am missing the hospital pump. My milk is coming in though and now she is getting more breastmilk than formula. Engorged though and concerned. The insurance covered double electric is being shipped to us and it feels like it is taking forever. She latched and sucked twice today but only for a few moments. It is though improvement. As we could not find a SNS locally we ordered one off ebay as we feel this will be our best bet to get baby off the syringe feedings. To test her sucking reflex we have tried a bottle but she doesn’t suck on it. I think we may have made a bigger mistake going with a syringe to supplement. She ends up with a lot of gas in her tummy and now doesn’t seem to understand she needs to suck for her food. The best part of being home now is all the skin to skin time. Husband has been amazing and supportive of every effort to breastfeed and helping me deal emotionally with the reality of having to supplement as we tried to avoid the NICU. There is a lot of hope but goodness is this a challenge.
We have kindly been offered a double pump to tide us over till ours comes in. Thank you Sarah H! We have the replaceable parts due to the hospital pump we used the first few days so a used pump like this is sanitary and safe for baby! It is priceless right now!
Day 6 – She seems to be waking up a bit more and she is eating a bit more than before. The doctors office said her bili numbers have evened out and she doesn’t need that blood test any more. We still have to go to the doctors office tomorrow for a weigh in.
Day 7 – She is back up to 7.5lbs and the doctor said she could wait a week before going back in. This seems amazing to us. She was a bit more awake today. We used the SNS (Supplemental Nursing System) and it was so messy and difficult to get to work. There is a learning curve to say the least. It is still our best bet to get baby on the breast full time! I am pumping 1.5oz to 2oz now for her each time I pump.
Day 8 – What happened? I received the new breast pump covered from our insurance. A great brand and I was told a great pump. However I could hardly get 10ml from each breast. This freaked me out a bit, I switched to the pump given to us, still though low output. Baby is taking 2oz of formula/breastmilk more often than less every 2-3 hours. At night we are really struggling though to get all her feeds in her. She is just so sleepy. I worry. She did have a few spans of great wakefulness and it is great to see her waking up more.
Day 9 – Another day and I think baby seems a bit more sleepy again. We got her outside for a bit in hopes that if we can get her bili number to come down, the more awake she will be and the better she will be about eating. She is taking the bottle more than the syringe thankfully. She is latching and sucking just a little bit a few times a day now. I don’t think she is getting anything though from her 2 minutes of effort at the breast. We are of course trying everything to get her to suckle at the breast. We need to try more with the SNS honestly. It just so messy and really takes two of us to do. Will try harder with the SNS tomorrow.
Day 12 – Due to extreme pain in neck and upper back due to mussel spasms a military doctor prescribed me a mussel relaxer. He recommended I pump and dump while on this medication and for a week after. This was really hard to accept. The doctor wasn’t very breastfeeding friendly as it was and so I saught out more expert advice from lactation consultants and known MDs who publish information on breastfeeding and medications. In short, this drug is listed as possibly safe, and the main issue is a possibly sleepy baby, as our baby was Near-Term and already sleepy it has been very hard trying to make a choice as to what to do. I can’t function with this amount of pain though.
Day 15 – A meltdown on my part. My military husband was told he would be sent away next month and be gone for 5 months. The last time he went away when we had a 2 month old I got overwhelmed when sick and it was such a disaster. While at first when we got the news I thought I could power through his time away but then in the middle of the night while pumping I found myself watching my husband sleep while holding our newborn sleeping. My heart broke for our baby, she deserves to have him home, she is just so little. I sobbed most of the night, making me think I am getting baby blues. I then spiraled into thinking that I couldn’t handle 5 children on my own, a new homeschooling year with 4 of them, and the stress of dealing with a landlord who wants to sell this house now. I needed a plan and given the pain I was in, the medication the doctor said I need to take but can’t nurse while taking, I felt the need to announce I was giving up breastfeeding. My husband woke up to find I packed up all my pumping supplies and was “done” because I simply couldn’t handle doing it all with him going away. This caused him to go into tears and for so many reasons he turned down the training opportunity so he could be here for his family, so I could feel supported and so I could feel like I could keep pushing to pump and nurse our baby because I had support. What a roller coaster.
Day 17 – I took the mussel relaxer twice now and didn’t give the following 8 hours of milk to the baby. I did put her to breast though and she is suckling more then ever. It is still less than 5 minutes of effort for her before she either goes to sleep content or gets upset over not getting a bottle. I need to use the SNS more honestly still. It is still out best option to get her nurse and move off bottles. I am now taking Fenugreek to try and up my supply to try and cover more of feedings when I am not on medication.
Open to supportive breastfeeding advice!
We have done this so many times before but this situation is different and there is always something to learn!
