Being Happy with Your Life

I sit outside in the ending heat with the sun dropping lower and lower in the sky. The day is almost over and I find myself so content. I think about this contentment almost every evening like this, out in the yard, watering the garden, watching the kids play. Long ago it seems there was so little contentment in my life and I don’t know why I choose to live that way. It doesn’t take much to make me feel like I am happy with my life now, and moments like this remind me how happy I am each day.

Like most people I was rushing to the next thing, if only I could find the right love, the right job, pass the next test… unlike children who tend to live in the moment, I wasn’t content. Not predictably anyway. Now I see others living for tomorrow and not taking any time for themselves today and I wish they could feel as I feel, I wish they could choose moments of contentment.

 If your not struggling, your not living!

There is this philosophy shared by some that believe if your not struggling or fighting or pushing yourself than your not really living. I can’t disagree with that. But I don’t think that is the way to live every moment of every day. I think that is damaging to mind that needs to feel for at least a moment that things are ok, for sanity sake.

The sun is dropping below the trees now, just a bit as I sit and watch, water spraying on the tomatoes. It is so bright at that angle and I look awake towards my children. All 4 feeding the chickens something or other. The chickens love their evening treats and we love the simply joy of feeding them. Tonight it is little yellow tomatoes that split down the middle, we call these chicken tomatoes. The chickens love them. It is common to see one chicken grab one and run away with the others chasing it and the kids chasing the chickens trying to get their attention to give the rest little yellow pieces of delicious.

These are my evenings, my moments of contentment. All else could be going wrong but few things could take these evenings away from me. Healthy kids, healthy husband, a yard, a small garden, some chickens and ducks, the evening air, another day to be thankful for.

We struggle, sure we do…. single income military family with 3 homeschooled children and a teenager going to an online cyber school with tuition that makes things hard. Things break at the worst of times, and husband goes away from training. My health is an issue, and never one far from my mind even when just watering the garden, the pain is almost always there. I try my best to push it from the front of my mind, to enjoy the moments I can. I am mindful in the evenings as we play and take care of our outside world. One must always be thankful.

One must always be thankful because at the back of the mind they are there…. the ones no longer with us. Maybe they are more in our hearts than our minds. Those loved ones now gone, that don’t get moments like these anymore. I think of a friend who died this past year leaving behind three boys. Did she get enough moments like these? A dear loved one who died about a year ago leaving 2 daughters and spouse, did he get enough moments like these? I have to hope they did. They taught me to not take time for granted. They taught me so much.

My son comes over to me, I know he is going to ask a question, he has that look, that smirk. He is so clever and so inquisitive. Before he can say anything though I spray him with the water. He knows I am going to do it too and runs off just a ways out of the way. I shut the hose off and put it down, the garden well watered, and I wait for him to come back. This time when he comes over I manage to lean over enough to grab his shirt and he lets me pull him to me. I tickle him and he laughs and laughs. There is no sound more wonderful than laughter. When we stop, I have to catch my breath. My health again. He is patient with me. He then asks if I will show him again how to tie his shoe. These are new sneakers, not crocks or boots or the velcro kind he has always gotten. I am so joyed to be able to help him learn anything. Sure other kids know how to already but it doesn’t matter. He knows how to catch chickens and use salt water as a battery, most kids don’t know those things. We all have our interests and his is learning to tie his shoe in that moment. When it is tied he asks me why our rooster tries to go to sleep in a tree sometimes, like he was trying to do just then, and not on the ground like the ducks. I am happy to explain how chickens have evolved and domesticated and how they still have their instincts to roost, off the ground like the birds they are and away from ground predators like coyotes. We talk about how different the ducks are too.

We watch as my husband goes and gently plucks the silly rooster out of the tree and puts him in the chicken coop with hens and ducks, safe and sound for the night. Husband does so much around here and with the pride of a man who works hard and loves what he has created, this family, all we have. He gives me all the credit but we both know he does more than I ever could at this point.

It is getting dark now. The bats have come out to play. I love watching them dance in the air, thankful for them taking care of the bugs. The evening is loud with frogs and bugs. Time to herd the kids in now. They have played enough and know the routine enough that they willing go in, happy, they are content too. We will cuddle up and read together. More moments that are just pure bliss, that few horrible things in the world can touch or take from us. Not tonight anyway.

So this is my life, my evenings. No huge drama, nothing world changing, not what most would consider exciting. They are mine though and they are moments I look forward to each day. They make me happy, or more so I have created these moments in my life that make me happy. My happy will look very different from yours, but you deserve happy too. What does it look like for you? What should it look like? Only you can make it happen so please do. We are not promised tomorrow, not promised another beautiful sun set or hug or a moment to tickle a loved one.

When things change, as all things do, I will have to find other moments to treasure. I will have to create them to look forward to each day and I will have to find ways to live in those moments that can’t be taken from me by my health those days, or by loss, or hardship. I can’t really plan for them, but that isn’t the point. The point is today, and making moments right now. You can do it, if I can do it, anyone can do it. You can do it.