When it comes to parenting, it can sometimes feel like the dads are on the sidelines. They’re not carrying the baby in their body; they’re not breastfeeding them, and they don’t need any of the fuss and attention that the mothers so richly deserve after a long nine months of pregnancy. Still, they’re there, one half of the parenting A-team, and they hold much love for their little bundle of joy. If the ways for a mother to bond with their child is clearcut, how can the dads reach the same level of closeness with the creature that they had a hand in bringing into this world? We take a look below.
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Before They’re Born
Why wait until they’ve seen the light of day to begin bonding? You can establish your connection when they’re still developing inside the womb. They’ll be able to hear what you’re saying – even though they can’t understand it – so get yourself close to your partner’s belly and get talking, about anything and everything that comes to mind. It can feel a little uncomfortable at first, but you’ll get over it. It’s just part of making a connection with your child!
Close Contact
Once your baby is born, he or she is going to be pretty confused about, well, everything. And wouldn’t you be? They’ve been nestled in a warm and safe space for their entire lifetime (thus far), and now they’ve been thrust into the light, with voices, noises, and other stimulation all around. They can’t understand any of it. But there is one thing they will understand: body contact. Pick your baby up, and hold them close. It’ll be something that they’ll be able to intuitively understand – that you’re holding them close, love them, and are there to protect them.
Wearing the Baby
You could move your baby from A to B by placing them in a buggy and pushing them around, but while this may be practical, it’s not going to establish much of a bond between you and your child. For that to happen, you need to be closer together! Fortunately, there’s a solution. Check out the best baby carrier at www.theburpcloth.com, and you’ll be able to carry your newborn around with comfort and ease; and at the same time, will be building a better connection with him or her. And though it’s not the most important thing in the world, they also look pretty cool, too. Are you ready to be a hip dad?
Talking
OK, it’s likely going to be a one-way conversation, but you should be making sure that you’re chatting to your child as much as possible. It’s all about getting them used to the sound of your voice. You don’t have to talk about anything in particular; you can just spell out what you’ve been doing during your day, or talk them through what you’re doing with them. Of course, it’s less about what you’re saying, and more about how you’re saying it. So get to work on your baby voice! You’ll be using it often.
Laughing and Dancing
Your interactions with your baby will stretch far beyond just talking. After all, that’s boring! Especially when compared to the freedom that you have to get weird and goofy with your newborn baby. Whenever the moment takes you, you should be laughing, dancing, making funny faces, and anything else you can think of to get a smile out of your little bundle of joy. Your heart will be melting when you see just how much fun they’re having with you, but, more than that, what’s important is that your child will see that you’re someone they can trust to make them feel good.
Scheduled Fun
While you should be trying to raise a smile in your new baby girl or boy throughout the day, also make sure that you’re setting some time aside only to have fun. There’s nothing that will bring a parent and their child closer together than playtime! Half an hour or more of pure, uninterrupted fun will be quality time well-spent together. And it’ll also help to establish a bond, too: your child will learn to look forward to those periods of fun with their dad.
The Night Shift
It can’t all be hunky dory fun time. While there’s plenty of scope to have a good time together, we’d be lying if we said that babies were all a box of roses. There’s going to be times when they’re crying, when they can’t sleep, and so on. When they’re crying at night, you could see this as annoying: or you could see it as an opportunity to bond. No matter what your arrangement is with the mother (say, she stays at home while you work), make sure that you’re not absolving yourself of all nighttime duties. If they’re crying, it’s because they’re looking for something. And if you’re the best who gives them what they seek (whether it’s love, food, or anything else), then they’re going to feel attached to you.
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Alone Time
There are few things better than all spending time together as a family. You’re one clan, and that’s a wonderful thing. But try to ensure that you’re spending some alone time with your child, too. You’ll have their undivided attention – and they’ll have yours – as you spend that time together. Of course, you’re not trying to get the mother out of the picture! But they’ll likely have plenty of opportunities to bond with their baby in a one-on-one capacity, so make sure you’re getting the same. These moments are precious, and, later on, you’ll see them as some of your favorite times as a new parent.
When They Feel Ill
Life can’t always be a box of roses. There’s going to be times when they’re not feeling on top of the world. If your partner isn’t working, then you might think it makes sense to let them take care of the baby while you’re at work. But before you make a vow for this to be the arrangement every time, think of the potential bonding session you’re missing out on while you’re at work. From time to time, take time off work, and nurse them back to health. They’re going to grow closest to the people who have shown that they’re around when they need taking care of!
Be a Presence
You’re not going to be able to assume all parenting responsibilities. Your partner is going to be there, too! While there’ll be opportunities for you to do things, and do them your own way, there’s going to be many more moments where you’re on the sidelines. But just because you’re not actively involved, that doesn’t mean that you have to sit it out altogether. Be a presence! If your partner is feeding the baby or putting them to bed, then you can be there too, offering love and encouragement. All the while, your child will come to see you as a familiar figure.
Begin the Conversation
You can’t have all those long conversations that you’ll be able to have in the future, but you can still begin a conversation with your baby. It might just not be quite as advanced as it will be in the future. If they’re making noises, then answer back! If they’re wriggling around, then wriggle around with them. Studies have shown that we mimic the people we like and admire; and on some level, your child will know this. They’ll see you doing all of the things that they’re doing, and will intuitively know that a connection is being developed. In trying to have a conversation, you’ll also come to understand what all of their different noises mean. You’ll have your own language, effectively!
Feeding
Who doesn’t love the person who brings us food? It doesn’t matter whether you’re one or forty-five; if someone can provide food for you when you’re hungry, then you’re going to have strong feelings of affection for that person. If your child is bottle fed, then make sure you’re the person to deliver their food to them from time to time. It might not sound like a complicated way to establish a bond with another human being, but it’s one of the most effective!
Changing the Mess
Yes, yes, we all know that having a baby isn’t all a box of roses. Sometimes, it’s a bag of something else entirely. While it might not sound, look, or smell like the nicest chore in the world, there are benefits to being the one that is changing the diaper. You’re taking care of them. You’re helping to rid them of discomfort. You’re showing that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to be a good parent. And even if they don’t fully appreciate it right there and then, they will when they’re older and realize just what a chore it is!
Take the steps above, and you’ll be on your way to a close bond with your baby in no time.
